Stranded On An Island

Loma, the lady who runs the travel desk must have made a hefty commission off the tour she recommended I go on yesterday because it was absolutely terrible and she convinced me it would be better than the one I was planning on booking. I was picked up bright and early yesterday morning in a van that not only looked like it was going to break down any minute, but like whole thing was going to complete fall apart. During the drive in the death van we drove past the luxury coach being used to pick up passengers for the trip I originally wanted to book.

After about an hour of fearing for my life we pulled into a resort. I assumed we were just picking up more people but we were instructed to get out of the van and check in. We were then ushered into a teeny tiny tin boat. I was told we would be travelling by catamaran and this was certainly not a catamaran, it was a crappy fishing boat. The resort had at catamaran, it was docked right next to the uncomfortable piece of junk I was sitting in and I have no idea why we weren’t using it.

We travelled by boat to Port Denarau, which is where I was lead to believe I would be catching the boat in the first place so I had a small glimmer of hope that maybe we would transfer to a nicer boat here. My stomach and the ocean are not friends so I was not thrilled at the prospect of being tossed around in this life raft while we made our way to our destination. Of course there was no nice boat waiting for us at the port, instead we baked in the sun for about 15 minutes while waiting for other people. I did however notice the lovely boat I would have been on if I had booked the tour I had originally planned on.

Luckily the water was calm because our journey to Beachcomber Island was not a short one. 45 minutes sat on a wooden plank is uncomfortable at the best of times so I was oh so very happy that we weren’t tackling massive waves along the way. We were greeted by a song by some of the staff at the island then ushered into a covered area where we were give our itinerary for the day. I was under the impression that aside from a set lunch time the day was mine to do as I pleased but it didn’t really pan out that way.

We started the day off with a kava ceremony. Once upon a time Fijians used to drink kava to welcome visitors into their home or village. Now it is used so locals can laugh at tourists as they try not to vomit after drinking it. It is a ground root mixed with water and it tastes like crap. The root itself is similar to pepper and while it didn’t taste like pepper while I was drinking it, I did feel like I had a mouthful of pepper that was slowly burning off my taste buds after I had swallowed.

 Once the horrible traditions were over I made my way to the snorkel rentals area to pick up my gear. When I booked the tour I was told this activity was included in the price so I was pretty pissed off when I found out that it wasn’t. It cost $5 to rent for half a day and $10 for the full day. I know this may not seem like a lot but when you have already paid $150 to learn that all it covers is transfers, and a horrible lunch; it comes as pretty shocking news. I complained to the guy running the rental shack telling him I was told everything was included he told me it wasn’t. I said that was crap and he took me to the office to talk to someone else to confirm this information. When we entered the office he started speaking in Fijian to the lady behind the desk so far all I know he was saying, “this stupid white bitch is pissing me off so just agree with everything I say”. So I ended up paying the money to rent the snorkel gear otherwise I would have had nothing to do all day.

I was also lead to believe that you could snorkel from the beach at this island. This was also not true. In order to go snorkelling you had to be shuttled to a coral via a boat that only left at specific times and only gave you 20-30 minutes of snorkel time per trip. I was feeling incredibly ripped off by this point. The snorkelling trip was okay. We saw quite a few fish and we even saw three reef sharks. Although I was exhausted by the end of it from trying to keep up with everyone else I would have preferred a longer, slower paced experience. We were on a tight schedule though and we needed to be back on the island for happy hour because who cares about snorkelling when you could be getting drunk instead?

During happy hour I learned that the cost for a can of coke was $5. Are you freaking kidding me? I mean I expect prices to be a bit hire since you’re literally stranded on an island with no other options but $5 for a can of coke is absolutely absurd! I decided to pass on the drink for a while and made my way to the food hall to wait for lunch.

I was hoping for something spectacular but preparing for something inedible. After what I paid to spend a day on this island I should have been able to order my own meal but instead it was a buffet of cold foods that should have been hot. Who wants to eat cold rice or cold chicken in sauce? Not me. But I did because I was starving and felt I needed to get my moneys worth.

After lunch it was turtle feeding time. During my snorkelling trips in Coral Bay, the Great Barrier Reef, and now in Fiji I have never seen a turtle and it makes me sad. I was pretty stoked for a guaranteed turtle sighting and horribly disappointed to find that they had 7 turtles in what was essentially a kiddy pool and were feeding the raw hamburger. There was a sign near the turtles that said once they reach a certain size they release them into the ocean where I sure they die of starvation as they are unable to find any cows in the ocean.  I don’t know why I was surprised by how disappointing this experience was, I had figured out early on that the whole day was going to be crap but I kept trying to stay positive.

There was another snorkelling trip after the turtle feeding but I decided not to go. I wasn’t paying another $5 to visit the exact same reef I had been to a few hours earlier. Instead I changed into some dry clothes and spent that $5 on a can of coke. I still had about an hour and a half to kill before the boat ride back so I spent it chatting with Mike and Dot. They are a lovely couple originally from South Africa who now live in New Zealand. We talked about travel plans and bitched about what a letdown the day had been. It was a great way to pass the time.

During the boat ride home the storm clouds started to roll in. I knew this was going to happen as it is the rainy season in Fiji and it rains every afternoon. I was pretty excited to be in this situation as neither metal or water conduct electricity so I couldn’t think of a safer place to be during a thunderstorm, except maybe the top of a really tall tree while holding a metal rod. I was sure we were going to die. Thankfully the storm held off until we reached land and we all survived, even the girl who wore long black pants and a black shirt to an island in 30+ degree heat, and I feel like she was just asking to die of heatstroke.

I said my goodbyes to Mike and Dot and loaded back into the death van for the ride back to the hostel that seemed to take about a million times longer than it did in the morning. By this point I had realized I had gotten a pretty nasty sunburn despite the fact I loaded up on sunscreen so I was feeling like a bit of an idiot for not using more or spending less time out in the sun.

Back at the hostel I bumped into one of my roommates in the reception area who told me there was half price pizzas at the resort next door so we made our way there for dinner. $7 for a meal in Fiji seems like a bargain to me, especially since I had just paid $5 for a can of coke so I was pretty stoked about this but I was also exhausted so after dinner I headed back to my room and read a bit before going to bed ridiculously early.

Today I woke up to the sound of what I thought be one of my roommates dying. The moans of pain coming from the bathroom were frightening and when they stopped and no one came out of the bathroom I was starting to freak out a little bit. Luckily no one died and someone finally emerged about 10-15 minutes later. I don’t know what happened in there, and I don’t want to but the noises I heard will haunt me for years to come.

After being woken up by a scene from a horror movie I made my way to breakfast where I decided I was still knackered so went back to bed. The whole reason for me coming to Fiji was so I could relax so why shouldn’t I get some extra sleep if I feel like I need it? I also look like a lobster and am trying to avoid going outside so that limits my options. I was contemplating catching a bus into town and going for a bit of a wander but from what I’ve heard the only thing worth seeing there is a temple and I’m not fussed if I miss out on that so I have decided to have a lazy day, inside, far far away from the nasty sun.

I fly to Melbourne tomorrow afternoon and have some time to kill after I check out so maybe I will head into town then, and maybe I’ll continue to be lazy. Either way my next post will be from Australia where hopefully I won’t get ripped off or sun burnt!