Day five of the safari was our first and last chance to sleep in during the 11 day tour so I was pretty upset when I woke up at 2am needing to pee. I tried to go back to sleep but the thundering of the waterfalls really wasn’t helping me to resist the urge to pee and the screaming monkeys at 5am weren't exactly creating a relaxing environment either.
When it was time to wake up for realsies the lovely Jo-Jo whipped up a nice hot breakfast complete with scrambled eggs and a giant bowl of bacon (Emma’s favourite thing ever). There was also cereal and bread but who wants that when you can have bacon? Especially since the cereal options were Corn Flakes and Rice Crispies, not good cereals like Corn Pops or even Honey Nut Cheerios.
Once we had all eaten we packed up the van and hit the road. It was a short drive to the Botswana border which was a much faster border crossing than when we came into Zimbabwe. It only took a few minutes to process all of our passports but we were still there long enough to check out all the ebola propaganda they had posted. One of the signs listed symptoms (symptoms was spelt wrong on the sign and I desperately wanted to take a picture but border officials tend to frown upon that sort of thing) and one of the symptoms listed was “bleeding from the eyes”. If you are bleeding from the eyes and haven’t felt the need to seek medical attention you deserve to die. Maybe that’s a bit harsh but really how could you not know that something is seriously wrong at that point?
Shortly after crossing the border we arrived at Thebe River Safari Lodge where we set up camp. Lunch was cold sandwiches which I wolfed down as quickly as possible and made my way to the pool to cool off because it was roughly a million degrees. I was just starting to cool off when one of the other girls came to the pool and told us that we had to move to a different camp site so a group of 40 rich snobs could have our site. I’m not sure if they thought that a group of that size wouldn’t need to make a booking or if someone at the office messed up but I was not happy about this situation.
By the time we had finished moving our camp it was almost time for our game drive so installing of returning to the glorious pool I had to change in to dry clothes and go back to sweating my ass off. This was not my day because things continued to fall apart as the day went on.
we all piled into the safari vehicle and drove down the road for what felt like ages to get to the gates of Chobe National Park. Once inside the park we saw a number of animals but they were all at a distance and I hadn’t managed to find a reasonably priced zoom lens in Zimbabwe so my pictures all suck. I had heard great things about Chobe but I think the way to see it is on the water rather than on the land. Most of the animals were hanging out in or near the water and we were stuck on land, and were not allowed to go off road so even the animals on land were often far away.
Our driver was a bit of a maniac and was driving incredibly fast for an area with so much h wildlife, not to mention the fact that none of the roads are paved. The vehicle was also quite loud so he was likely scaring away animals which is the exact opposite of the goal when on a game drive. His great speed caused my hat to fly off my head. I felt it lift up and tried to grab it but apparently my catlike reflexes aren’t quite what they used to be and my hat was gone. a short while later it started to bucket down rain and as I struggled to put on my sweater my sunglasses fell off my face and slid out the side of the vehicle. I yelled “stop” but the driver kept on going. We turned around and went back to get them (much to the dismay of the rest of the group) only to find they had been run over by the truck behind us. I briefly worked at a sporting goods store during my time in Lake Louise and while I was there a rep from Oakley came and talked to us about their product and I remembered him telling us that they could survive being run over. My glasses were in three pieces when they were picked up off the dirt road but I was able to piece them back together so the legend really was true! Unfortunately one of the lenses was scratched so badly the glasses were unwearable but I was still impressed.
Things were getting pretty chaotic around this point. The rain kept coming down harder and harder and we were all completely soaked. Luckily our driver had collected all of our cameras and put them in cab before it really started coming down so no one’s camera’s were damaged but our spirits had been shattered. Within minutes we went from roasting to freezing and our drive ended up being cut short due to the inclement weather. On our way out of the park we saw several other groups, all of which had been given ponchos and looked dry and warm. Some of the other groups even took pictures of us looking like drowned rats while the laughed. Assholes.
Most of us had left bathing suits and towels out to dry on our tents so there was a collective sigh of relief when we returned to camp and found it hadn’t rained there. I was so happy to be able to dry off and change into some warm clothes. I had originally planned on jumping straight back into the pool upon our return to camp but hanging out in the bar seemed like a better option at that point.
We sat around a table and chatted at the bar while we waited for dinner. We had a braii for dinner and it was much better than the one I had in Cape Town. I did steer clear of the sausages for fear that they would taste like a bathroom air-freshener but everything I tried was fantastic. The steaks must have come from dinosaurs because each steak was the size of a single cow. My favourite part was probably the corn on the cob, coated in delicious melted butter mmmmmmmmmmm.
We finished the night hanging out around the campfire. Some of the girls made smores and pretty much everyone drove Jo-Jo crazy while they chatted during his briefing on what would be happening the following day. He looked like he was going to snap at one point but after 5 whole days stuck with 13 girls you couldn’t really blame him.
After Jo-Jo’s briefing I made my way to the tent and called it a night so in an attempt to keep this post from turning into a novel like the last one I will end this entry here. Check back soon for more safari adventures.